there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
