so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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