...so i touched it.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
