Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
There's always time for handjobs
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
