Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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