i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
