the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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