Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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