The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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