a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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