ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
