Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
