I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
