Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
