I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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