its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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