we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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