I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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