I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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