is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
