Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
