I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Help. Why am I so naked?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
