I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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