i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
