When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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