I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
