talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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