I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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