yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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