its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
