he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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