You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
