that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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