I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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