I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
