Do you still have your period?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
