I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
