So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
