Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I am available for nakedness
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
