I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
