It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Come share oat with me in your robe
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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