Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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