needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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