he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
