It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
