yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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