do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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