don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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