When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
