you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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