On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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